Have you ever bought a product and thought “Maybe I’m just using this wrong”, “Why does everyone else love this product?” or perhaps “Let me just give this one more chance”. I know I have. But eventually, with some products, I’ve realised that it’s not me, it’s them. These are the useless beauty products I simply don’t believe in.
A beauty blogger who doesn’t believe in primer? Sacrilege! I have yet to find a primer that is worth its price and the effort in applying. I know that sounds lazy, but why pay up to R500 for a glorified moisturiser? With the exception of a pore-minimizer, like Benefit’s Porefessional, almost every other primer is replaceable. Illuminating primer? Liquid highlighter. Hydrating primer/dewy finish? Moisturiser.
What. A. Joke. Goji berry extract and tingling menthol will not change the way the fat deposits in your legs are structured. It’s not rude, it’s just the way your body is made! And that’s totally fine. Beauty companies prey on your insecurities to encourage you to purchase these types of useless beauty products.
Every woman of every age, build and race has cellulite. If you want to improve your eating habits or exercise more, let that be your motivation to change, not some silly collection of skin dimples. And please, PLEASE, do not spend hundreds of rands on cellulite creams. Buy yourself an ice-cream and a bikini and kiss society’s expectations goodbye.
Sea Salt Sprays
Let it be known that I own three of these useless sprays, from three different brands, and all I’ve ever achieved is crunchy hair. Sticky, salty, limp, crunchy hair. How are sea salt sprays even a thing? I’ve tried them on wet hair, on dry hair, on recently styled hair. Nothing. Surely a hair spray can’t be this hard to use.
Try and explain the concept of thermal water sprays to your husband/boyfriend/brother/dad. “Its water, in a can, that you spray on your face… and it’s like R300.” Then you begin to realise how silly this concept actually is.
Facial sprays have lovely extracts and hydrating oils. Makeup setting sprays have an actual purpose. But what about these useless thermal water things? Sure they’re fun and refreshing and massively boujee, but is that really enough to justify the price?
I don’t know how sheet masks have taken over the beauty world because they really aren’t worth the fuss. They’re the millenial version of the homemade banana and oat mask, but I cannot believe that slippery, wet pieces of cloth do all that much except scare your partner and leave your face cold.
The serum of the maskitself may have some small benefit, but we all know that the novelty is about the useless little sheet, otherwise we’d all just buy masks that come in tubes or pots.
What are some of the beauty products you have found to be useless? Do you disagree with any of my picks? Let me know in the comments below!